Need a dishy icebreaker? Have a word with this Swiss lawyer

Go to the profile of The Brief team
Jul 19, 2017
Recommend 0 Comment

In a coup for investigative journalism (or was it just the email? ed), The Brief can reveal the identity of the Swiss lawyer reported on yesterday who has found an alternative life as a headhunter of attractive personal assistants.

His name is Michael Hüttl, who launched a specialist legal and tax consultancy in Zurich this year called Swiss Support (everyone speaks English, these days). But more importantly, Hüttl also runs a sideline business called Secretary Affairs, which purports to find personal assistants for leading global business executives who can not only type at the speed of sound, but also … how should we put this? … are easy on the eye. Politically correct, it ain’t. 

“Many of our clients expressly seek candidates for icebreaker positions to deal with crucial communication tasks in the name of their company,” Hüttl explains to The Brief. Alternatively, he says, they “simply want to find a person to represent their company image or brand. We cover administrative positions in almost all industries, where contact with customers and business partners is crucial”.

We await correspondence from Swiss discrimination lawyers – if there are any in the jurisdiction.

Lawyer writes ‘Brexit: the musical’ … No, really, he does

Evidence that advising countless befuddled clients on the implications of the UK leaving the EU could dive any lawyer a bit bonkers comes from the City of London practice Berwin Leighton Paisner (Linda Tsang writes).

Chris Bryant, a competition partner at the firm, is clearly in need of a holiday as he has just penned “Brexit: the musical”. Sources close to the firm tell The Brief that Bryant has written a full script that involves Boris Johnson as the lead character desperately trying to uncover the lost plan for Brexit to save the nation from disaster.

Johnson is joined by characters from across the political spectrum, including Jeremy Corbyn, David Cameron, and, of course, Theresa May, who belts out a real show-stopper called, you guessed it, “Brexit Means Brexit”. For those fearing the show might not get backing for a West End run-out, The Brief has obtained some lyrics:

“When I say Brexit means Brexit
I'm hoping that no one out there detects it
Is a very simple way
For a politician to delay
(doing anything).”

The show is very much a work in progress. Bryant is understood to have added another number in the wake of the recent general election, which includes this catchy lyric.

“OK, I'll call a snap election to diminish my authority.
I'll fight a **** campaign so that I squander my majority.”

The musical will be performed at the Edinburgh fringe festival between August 2 and 28. After which Bryant will presumably have a lie down.

Go to the profile of The Brief team

The Brief team

Articles by The Brief's team of reporters and daily guest columnists

No comments yet.